God has a way of answering our prayers. Sometimes, they are in a form that we cannot even imagine.
Lately, I have been feeling lost, unsure about my beliefs, values and principles. It feels like I do not know myself anymore. I started talking to people. They said it is normal and maybe I am at a point of 'mid-life crisis.' I wasn't even sure if I am that old to feel these kind of emotions.
I am at a point of my life where in I do not exactly know what I want but all I know is that I am outside my comfort zone and I just need to have my peace of mind again.
Ever feeling uncomfortable on what is happening to your life? Kinda sucks doesn't it? That feeling where you can see everything in your life is tearing apart and there is nothing you can do but watch them. "This is not what I imagine my life would be." I said.
Yes. For sure most people will say that everything happens for a reason. Easy said than done. How would you even accept that justification when you your self is hurting. Human as we are, we tend to be emotional and subjective when we are talking about our feelings.
There is a feeling of emptiness and I do not know how to respond or how to fix it. I tried doing my routine: watching series, cooking food, going to the beach and probably my most favorite hobby - sleeping. It seems to work although sometimes, this feeling will really hit you.
I am supposed to always have solution to everything. I mean EVERYTHING. But this time, I feel helpless. I do not want to feel helpless. I always want to be in control with my own life.
I tried doing new things. The religious community that I am in for some years now asked me to do certain roles. I am not sure why. I do not know the reason. But okay. Let us try. Maybe this will give some purpose in my lost life.
Started attending the meetings, started talking to them again. It somehow helps too. Feeling a little better.
I started reading self help book that I found. I always watch his motivational video on Facebook and I felt happy that he got a book. Thank you Jay Shetty for sharing "Think Like A Monk." Although I am not finished reading the book. It really does help me to keep on going day by day.
Something happened yesterday evening. I did not expect that but somehow I guess it is a necessary pain. I felt relieved and to my surprise, it gave me peace of mind.
I do not know but there are voices in my head saying, the struggle has now ended. You can finally move forward now.
Everyone is struggling on something everyday.
I guess one thing to make life worth living is to control on how you react on things. Turning negativity as a tool to rearrange your life is not a bad idea - at least the negative emotions are productive and it is not self sabotaging.
I hope whatever you are facing in life, know that you are not alone. Maybe you need someone to talk to, read something to make you feel better, Eat something to make everything okay or do something new to make see life in a different perspective.
Yes. Life is tough. No one said it is not. But hey, so are you.
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