Chapter 16: Forgiveness.

We all encounter our own fuck ups. It might be in a different day or place - and of course time but we've all been there. One way or another, we can say we understand each other when someone is suffering because an unfortunate thing happened to him.

Few months ago, I was lost with so many questions in life. I lost my purpose til someone came and told me all his "plans" for us which I won't lie - I fall deeply into his plans and promises.

The charade continues for months and I found myself at a point where in I blindly believe everything. EVERYTHING. Until I found out that it was a wishful thinking. A lie. LIES.

With all the bullshits that has been happening in all the aspect of my life, there is a point where I just can't help it anymore, I saw myself in the mirror and I just cried hysterically while uttering these lines on bended knees - "I can't take it anymore, if it is not for me then please take it away." over and over until I get tired. The next day he called it quits.

He left together with all the "promises" he made. He left me with nothing. And he may have his own side of his story, he may have a reason why he did what he did. he might have an explanation or another lie to cover up the all the bullshits but I don't wanna hear anything from him.

Starting all over again is never easy. Fixing the things that were is scattered everywhere into tiny little pieces is almost impossible and I won't gonna lie, there is a part of me that wants to curse him, pray for his karma (and yes I'm still doing) but I want to try.

I want to try to let the fate decide on how he would pay the prize on the damage that he did. I will try not to wish for his karma for sure I would not hope for his well being as well.

He may not know how much damage he did where all I did was "try". Try to understand him - whatever it takes. Maybe someday he will - when something like this happens to him.

I want to start over again. Erase the memories I had with him and hope that this will be the last time I would talk about this event.

I can't forgive the person who broke me in every ways possible but I want to start forgiving my self for letting my walls down because of his words and lies. Everything will be okay.

This too shall pass.

(PS. this story is fictional)