Why does GOD let me cry?

I am not sure how to start this.

They say that the formula for a good story is to have a 'catchy' introduction so that the readers will get hooked and eventually, they will continue reading and will finished the story that your mind just made up.

I cannot think of any 'attention - getter' phrase that will make you read this but I would like to start something that comes not only on my brain - but mainly from my heart.

You see, in every event that I experienced in my life, whether it is good or bad, they are engrave in my heart. Like how teen couples would right their names on the tree and hoping that by doing so, they would be together forever. 'Till death do as part' they say. Memories are merely evidence of what life gave us. Isn't it?

I have been trying to hold on to different kinds of memories lately.

I have been trying to reach out to people that used to be important.

I have been trying to forget all those things that should be main core of my disappearance on their lives but somehow I value the good memories more than the nightmares like how the little girl loves her barbie doll even if falls on filthy street because I think that is what life is all about, right? You value people, things that supposed to be important should stay. right?

Someone told me that I enter alone in this earth and I should leave alone too. Does that mean that I should also be alone in this journey? Kinda lonely isn't it? I've got friends. I'm not an introvert but humans as we are I tend to somehow look for what is not here. 

What if....

Maybe I could..

But...

'There should be no WHAT IF and BUT, you should not be dependent to people, whoever may it be' my friend said. I guess being strong and independent isn't that easy.

Guessing seems to be my hobby now a days.

Even cold play isn't aware that 'it' is not easy. I guess there is no precaution in life.

'Does God loves to see my cry?' I wonder.

I guess this is His way of saying that I should be strong. They said that if things are getting rough, if the way is getting harder then it is the right path.

Lately I have been receiving signs from Him.

Signs that I think are blessings in disguise. I felt what he is trying to say. You know God sometimes rejected the things that you want because he wants you to say that "Child this is not good for you. It will just give you a problem so better not continue it."

Lessons in life are given after every experience but each one of those made us who we are today.