Chapter 47: Standstill is still a progress

We have been through tough times and most of the times it is really frustrating if things do not get in our way. Isn't it?

In these challenging times, what are you currently feeling? Are you scared that this might be your last chance on eating your favorite food? Are you worried that your children will be alone in this world and no one will take care of them? Are you mad about the world because there are still a lot of things that you would like to do? Do you feel sad that you did not achieve that much?

Or do you feel you are not ready to leave this world because you have so many plans for your life and you are still looking forward to making it happen?

There are a lot in my mind to be honest. It is a mixed emotion, and I do not know how to be logical and emotional at the same time. My mind is saying - I do not have a time to worry right now (as usual); I need to have a plan for the things that are unknown. 

I hate this kind of attitude. I am always like this. I always try to dismiss my feelings because I feel that it is more important to find a solution that to cry in the corner. It makes me look that I am numb or it makes me look that I am strong. I am not sure which is which but all I know is - I need a plan.

Right now, having a plan is a luxury and hope is expensive. I am scared of the unknown. I am worried for tomorrow and it makes me so anxious what will happen if today is the last. It makes me wonder, what should I do? Will my last day be memorable or will it be just a normal day and then puff. Goodbye.

I know, now memories are flashing back, isn't it? The silly ones, when you tried to run barefoot in the sand and trying to chase the waves; the sweet one when someone proposed to you at sunset near Burj Al Arab and that red blanket that used to cover the sand and a fairy light surrounding the words "Will you marry me?"; the sad ones when you had a fight with your loved one and you slept in the sofa or the happiest one where you said I do?

These memories lingers as I write this and then I realized, with all the things that are happening right now; there is only one thing I need to do. Have faith.

Have faith in the government that they will protect this country, and we will get through this. Have faith in ourselves that we are strong enough to hold on to everything and have faith in God that by His grace and love, we will come out stronger.

Like what Morgan Freeman said in Evan Almighty, "If one prays for patience, do you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If they pray for courage, does God give them courage, or does he give them opportunities to be courageous? If one prayed for their family to be closer, you think God zaps them with warm, fuzzy feelings? Or does he give them opportunities to love each other?"

I think this is the time to have unity and express our love with our family, friends and loved ones. I am grateful to this country who has been my home for the past 12 years and it becomes an instrument for me to explore the tip of the world. It allows me to eat different cuisine which makes me happy. This country helps me experience life and it makes me a better person. I am also thankful to all the people that I encounter, I am me because of you.

I hope we will find our core and have something to hold on to in this challenging times. We got this. May God always protect us and keep our faith burning.

If faith is the only thing we got, we still have a lot.