I thought I already kissed you goodbye. For the past months
that seem to be an eternity, I thought I got over everything and I was so sure
that I was OK. I was so damn confident that I already moved forward and it was
so easy doing that until I found out that I was unconsciously lying to myself.
How come time has a way to bring back the memories that we
used to be.
Today I received a notification from google to recover the
photos for the past years. I got thrilled to go back and see how myself changed
for the past few years.
I keep scrolling and scrolling with a big smile on my face
until I saw screenshots conversations, the pictures of our dates, the things
that we took when we are asking each other “what are you doing?” and it still
breaks my heart.
The genuine smile that I had turned bitter-sweet.
There comes a time when your shoes got broken and you went
to the store to buy one but you can’t decide on your own so you ended up taking
a picture of every shoe that you like and asked me to decide what will you buy.
It makes my album that day like an online shopping app.
There comes a point in our relationship that we had a fight
and you somehow were trying to make me feel better so you park the car near
my house and you saw these cute little shih tzu. You know how I adore them so
you excitedly got off the car and hurriedly went to the owner to play with his
dogs. Later did you know that the dogs are biting you and you were already
bleeding —you ended up taking yourself to the hospital and taking anti vaccine
for 2 months I think – I’m sorry for this.
We also had this conversation when it is all about teasing
your big nose. I still found it funny.
For 365 days, I tasted a little piece of heaven and it’s
been 120 days since I’m back on earth. Earth is good, realistic and favorable
for me but somehow it is incomplete.
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