Chapter 13: Million pieces

We always thought we deserve better and people will keep on wondering what kind of standards do we have.

But I bet they would never ask "What happened to your past relationships that made you be like this?"

The problem is that being in a toxic relationships, you will be mentally and emotionally manipulated, lied to and still you will will think it is okay because love will always find its way back. (better think it a million times)

You will keep on thinking it is always your fault and they did nothing wrong. There would always be a battle inside of you and every single day you try to understand those people you noticed that you lose some part yourself until nothing is left.

Do not get me wrong. This happens in all kinds of relationships.

I realized that we will always have a misunderstanding because we have a different Point of View. I guess this is one way of saying or justifying how you feel at a certain moment. But be careful, there is a thin line between being entitled and being right.

I haven't found any solution apart from acceptance because you cannot do anything about it if both you have different beliefs and ideals. Acceptance for me is when you let things be and as long as it doesn't hurt your bubble, you let them be and do their own shit.

Being lied to is a different story. I seriously do not get the point of people who makes lying their hobby. What fun do they get aside from anxiety and pressure of maintaining their lies?

It is true, words can kill.

Being lied to is like a poison inside your body that will kill all the faith that you have for that person. Worst it can destroy your own thinking about the everything. And mind you, it can contaminate others. After all you can influence other with your thoughts. Be careful.

But experiencing these kind of things doesn't mean you have the right to do this to others. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO HURT OTHERS  or throw your tantrums on them no matter how angry you are especially if they are not the reason of your negativity. But sadly, not all people are the same.

"You are not like them." My everyday mantra whenever shit happens. Whenever someone triggers the monster in me. It is still a process. A long and hard one. It is not easy to control your anger but as you see other people throwing their shit on others, you will have a motivation not to be like them.

So, after putting the million pieces back together, I hope you are stronger. After all, you managed to get out of that nightmare that you always want to escape.